amuse me

i've been busy.

this past week i was on a crappy mood. i would sit in front of the computer, attempt to post something on my blog and i would end up with nothing at all. the heat in our apartment didn't helped at all, no thanks to our sucky airconditioning system.

anyways, i've been caught up with work lately. after the mini break i had last month, i've decided to get back to my second job in the nursing home. i miss working with the old people, specially when they're being cute. one look at their very fragile bodies and you'd almost feel sorry for them for being in that place. the first day i was back, somebody decided to die out on me. he was hanging on for dear life a couple of days before, my CNA told me. his condition was really going down, they say. ewan ko ba? nagsimba naman ako that afternoon, but that patient have chosen the beginning of my night shift as the time of his expiration that would appear on his death certificate... bummer.

aside from giving comforting words to families of expired patients and making phone calls to funeral homes (oh yeah! my life totally rocks!), there is one other thing na pinagkaka-abalahan ko. i got myself a 20GB new generation ipod. weeeee! i am like a kid with a brand new toy. halos maloka-loka ako ngayon, organizing my mp3's and thinking up of really cool titles for the different playlists i created. yeah, the things you do to keep yourself amused in the middle of suburbia.

meet podee, the newest object of my affection .

speaking of amusing oneself in the suburbs, i finally got in my hands a copy of dan brown's angels and demons. after a week of waiting for that old lady in the public library to give me a call and tell me to bring my impatient ass to the library, i am finally reading it. the 20 minute walk i had to endure (dahil kuripot ako at ayaw ko mag-taxi!) just to get to the library was definitely worth it.

the drug that would keep me up all night for a couple of days.

ten things i am not

1. not good in explaining things.
when i am watching a movie, i don't like it when i have to explain the plot to the person i am watching it with. i should abolish any hopes of being a teacher (not that it occured to me to be one) because i'd rather do a complicated procedure myself than explain how it is done to somebody. i just don't have the patience to be somebody's teacher.

2. not pleasant.
i have always been tagged as a snobbish person. i am not the one who will smile profusely at an acquaintance i have just met once. i have never been comfortable exchanging "beso(s)" with someone because i just find it "plastic", although i am sometimes forced by what my values education teacher has taught me and those darn social norms to i have to follow. i am an anti-social by default. people should just deal with it.

3. not adept at directions.
unlike the unwanted kitten you would put in a sack and attempt to lose on an unfamiliar place, i will never find my way back even if i've been to the same place thrice. that's how bad i am with directions. people who lose their way around the hospital i work in should stay away from me, lest they want to get lost even more.

4. not prejudicial.
i always give people a chance to show me who they really are. the contents of the book is more important to me than it's cover.

5. not a go-getter.
i'm not sure if this is positive or negative. i am sort of the laid back kind of type. i do not stress myself about something i should be getting or achieving asap. i often take my time. i am not the type who lives on the two thumbs up-hats off to you-good job praises of others. i just don't care what others think of me and my performance.

6. not a public speaker.
but give me a topic to write about and i would end up with a kick ass essay that would probably move my college english professor to tears.

7. not good in expressing my feelings.
i am a pro in hiding what i feel. i should put a stop to this though, before my cells get confused and i eventually get cancer.

8. not stupid.
thank god for good genes!

9. not crazy.
i'm just a little unwell... (kanta to... alam ko!)

10. not yet done.
i'll be back to post a list of ten things that i am.

no work stretch

me and my room mate went to the public library this afternoon because i wanted to borrow dan brown's angels and demons. unfortunately there were only two copies and both of them were already signed out, one a mere five minutes ago before i asked about it. damn it! however, the clerk was kind enough to reserve one under my name, once it gets back on their shelves.

since i'm on a three day no work stretch, i decided to sign out some dvd's. actually, joyce signed them out for me because i forgot to bring my library card. i had been absent minded these past few days. case in point: i removed my socks after getting home and went to the kitchen realizing that i was meaning to put my socks in the garbage instead of in the laundry basket in the closet. oh my god! could this be a case of early alzheimers? anyway, enough of the digression.

so joyce picked a dvd of the play aida and i got school of rock and lost in translation. i just finished watching school of rock and by god, jack black is a riot.i look at him and watch his antics in the movie and i remember phoebe saying "this guy is like santa on prozac, at disneyworld, on christmas...getting laid. i mean, he could really play the part. i still have to watch the other two dvd's later this evening.

okay, so earlier we passed by the grocery after our trip to the library and guess what's in my grocery cart? i hoarded pounds of spare ribs, burger patties and chicken thighs like i'm planning to have a month long barbecue. oh yes dr. atkins! count me in. however i'm having doubts if i would survive this low carb insanity. i mean, just a day of not getting carbs into my system is enough to give me olfactory delusions of rice cooking on our rice cooker. so i'm not giving myself a hard time. just surviving at least a week of the famous doctor's diet is enough for me. then i could try going for two weeks... and then three. who knows? he he he... here i go again shooting for the moon.

pang-asar

just when i thought i was getting over THIS out comes a friend's (if you could call him one! grrr!) email in my inbox with this to say...

basa muna...

The one that got away
Source: The Manila Times
By: Mark J. Macapagal

In your life, you'll make note of a lot of people. Ones with whom you
shared something special, ones who will always mean something. There's
the
one you first kissed, the one you first loved, the one you lost your
virginity to, the one you put on a pedestal, the one you're with...and
the
one that got away.

Who is the one that got away? I guess it's that person with who
everything
was great, everything was perfect, but the timing was just wrong. There
was
no fault in the person, there was no flaw in the chemistry, but the cards
just didn't fall the right way, I suppose.

I believe in the fact that ending up with someone, finding a longtime
partner that is, does not lie merely in the other person. I can actually
argue that an equal part, or maybe even the greater part, has to do with
the matter of timing. It has to do with you being ready to settle down
and
commit to someone in a way that goes beyond the little niceties of giddy
romance.

How often have you gone through it without even realizing it? When you're
not ready to commit in that mature manner, it doesn't matter who you're
with, it just doesn't work. Small problems become big; inconsequentials
become dealbreakers simply because you're not ready and it shows. It's
not
that you and the person you're with are no good; it's just that it's not
yet right, and little things become the flashpoint of that fact.

Then one day you're ready. You really are. And when this happens you'll
be
ready to settle down with someone. He or she may not be the most
perfect,
they might not be the brightest star of romance to ever have burned in
your
life, but it'll work because you're ready. It'll work because it's the
right time and you'll make it work. And it'll make sense, it really will.

So that day comes when you're finally making sense of things, and you
find
yourself to be a different person. Things are different, your approach is
different, you finally understand who you are and what you want, and
you've
become ready because the time has truly arrived. And mind you, there's no
telling when this day will come. Hopefully you're single but you could be
in a long-term relationship, you could be married with three kids, it
doesn't matter. All you know is that you've changed, and for some
reason,
the one that got away, is the first person you think about.

You'll think about them because you'll wonder, "What if they were here
today?" You'll wonder, "What if we were together now, with me as I am and
not as I was?" That's what the one that got away is. The biggest "What
if?"
you'll have in your life.

If you're married, you'll just have to accept the fact that the one that
got away, got away. Believe me, no matter how fairy tale you think your
marriage is, this can happen to the best of us. But hopefully you're
mature
enough to realize that you're already with the one you're with and this
is
just another test of your commitment, one which will just strengthen your
marriage when you get past it. Sure, you'll think about him/her every so
often, but it's alright. It's never nice to live with a "might have
been,"
but it happens.

Maybe the one that got away is the one who's already married. In which
case
it's the same thing. You just have to accept and know that your memories
of
that person will probably bring a nice little smile to your lips in the
future when you're old and gray and reminiscing.

But if neither of that is the case, then it's different. What do you do
if
it's not yet too late? Simple...find him, find her. Because the very
existence of a "one that got away" means that you'll always wonder, what
if
you got that one?

Ask him out to coffee, ask her out to a movie, it doesn't matter if
you've
dropped in from out of nowhere. You'd be surprised, you just might be
"the
one that got away" as well for the person who is your "the one that got
away."

You might drop in from out of nowhere and it won't make a difference. If
the timing is finally right, it'll all just fall into place somehow and
you
know, I'm thinking, it would be a great feeling, in the end, to be able
to
say to someone, "Hey you, you're the one that almost got away."

**********************

hey, thanks for reminding me man! fuchsiang red ka talaga! you are now the recipient of a spot on my blocked email addresses he he he... congratulations! you are now on my "this is spam" list. how about that? :D

the years that were

idea stolen from balikbayan....

10 Years Ago, I...

1. was a freshman in college.
2. had my first "pseudo" relationship of sorts.
3. had no idea i would be living in america.


5 Years Ago, I...

1. was two years into my old job.
2. met some of the coolest friends in the world.
3. began thinking like an adult.

3 Years Ago, I...

1. was afraid of turning twenty five.
2. started blogging.
3. made some wrong decisions in life.

A Year Ago, I...

1. was too stressed at work.
2. had my first pamangkin.
3. spent my first new year away from home.

This Year, I...

1. broke my heart in pieces.
2. became bolder and independent.
3. will start to think about the future.

Yesterday, I...

1. went back to work.
2. visited a friend who just gave birth.
3. was thinking of the one thing that i truly, truly desired.

Today, I...

1. realized that shopping is a crime especially if you're saving for something.
2. spent the afternoon with two makulit but cute kids at the dress a bear store.
3. totally ached for the satchel bag i found at macy's.

Tomorrow I will...

1. sleep all day and work all night.
2. try to be more productive.
3. still be thinking about that bag at macy's.